Evenings of Frustration!

Sitting in the room, with a system on the lap...

unlocking every time it goes standby...

thinking of doing something, but don't know, what?

Opening the browse & staring at it...

checking the mail box again n again,

knowing that a new mail makes my hand-held device ring...

thinking of what to do, my fingers stay on the keys,

& eyes stare at the screen...

feeling like doing something,

that produces some adrenalin...

answer for which being unknown,

I stare at the screen, unlock it once again...

feeling like walking on a road,

though not alone, but surrounded

by complete loneliness & immense darkness...

I stare at the screen unlocking it once again...

feel like writing a poem, describing the state-of-my-mind...

feel like making a film, depicting the encounters within me...

but, Iam neither a poet, rhyming my feeling...

nor Iam an actor, portraying emotions of manipulation...

& one more dawn of frustration turns into,

the darkness of night, in a matter-of-course...

with a call for a fag thickening the clouds in the skies,

I forget everything, hoping for a difference with a smirk on the face...

Comments

& It was again a Dream!...

"Mandutendala madhyalo, vadagalula vedilo, varuna meghamai vacchila, na aasalanu adiyasalu chesavaela?..." “Its still 4:30? Approximately an hour ago when I looked into it, it was showing 4:30. I then found that the seconds needle isn't moving, so how could the others do? Okay, let's ask someone...” I thought after looking into my watch. “Excuse me! What's the time by your watch?” I asked a stranger. “5:15pm” he replied & left. I walked five steps to my left & bought a soft drink from a grocery. Lit a fag & sipped the drink waiting for my cousin at her college. A girl with long silky jet black hair left loose, just walked from my left hand side to right & was moving quick into the crowd on the pavement. The fragrance from her hair mesmerized me & I realized that she should be the girl “I can never forget!” I started running behind her & in just a few hops.... we were facing each other... & I said... ...

In search of light

I wake up every morning, Searching for some light, That frees me from the darkness, That was filled in my heart... ...Darkness that found its way When I first flew over the oceans leaving my mother land far away Searching for light illuminating my life ...Darkness that was growing strong every moment Away so long & that when I knew, she left me It has filled up all, in & around me ...I forgot the meaning of happiness, so as my smile ...& I lost my love, so as my life ...Also, the brightest of the days, Failed to fill some light, & the longest of the days, Failed to stay for a moment ...Now, the heart is searching for darkness To hide the pain in the eyes, & the waters flowing from them, The heart's searching for darkness Also during the days, only to find some light, That can illuminate my life... Days are followed by nights, & nights are followed by days, Saying neither accompanies alone till the end, Explaining the hearts filled wit...

Nee gnyapakalae naa oopiri...

Yedalo yepudu taanae unna, Yedurayae nimisham ika ledanna... Kalalo kanapadi kavvistundae, Ilalo kalavadam kallani andae... Ninne mariche kshanam aedante, Yedalo chalanam lenapudaenanna... Ninne mariche prayatnamulonu, Nannae marachi ninne talacha... Neetho gadipina okko kshanamu, Ipudu yedalo meduluthu unde... Neevae yedurai ika raavanna, Oohala ooyala aganu andae...

my heart says...

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